Family

I see our daughter in my dreams sometimes. She is a toddler, maybe 1 year old. White porcelain skin, green eyes just like Ryan, dark brown shaggy straight hair like mine, button nose, rose cheeks, and red lips. She is sitting between Ryan and me, smiling at us.

She's very real in my dreams. My love psychic says that many times, women see their future child in their dreams. And this was my future child with Ryan. I often have visions of him and me, walking in a park with tall green trees. I see myself pregnant with his child sometimes. Ryan would cradle my big round belly and kiss it, while talking to the baby in my tummy. Other times, I see us walking hand-in-hand through the same grassy field with the tall green trees. He's carrying our baby on his chest in a baby carrier. He'd play with our daughter at the playground while I watch from the bench with amazement at how happy my life is then. When our daughter gets tired out, he would come over to the bench, lay down next to me, put his head on my lap, and cradle our baby on his chest as we talk about our day, staring in amazement at the child that our love created.

I can't wait for these images to become reality.

Magic Mountain Fun

My coworkers and I went to Magic Mountain last night. It was a good distraction from a hard week last week. Actually, it was a great distraction. My goal was to go on ride after ride until I was on the brink of hurling. No success. We went on 10+ rides, including the Tidal Wave 5 times and the Log Jammer twice until we were soaked. Soaked silly actually - as if someone had thrown a bucket of water on us. I didn't even accomplish my goal of throwing up from the rides, but we did eat an enormous amount of funnel cake drenched in whipped cream, strawberries, and chocolate. On an empty stomach, ewww..... I felt like a big kid, buzzing on the thrill and the anticipation of being thrown upside down and twisted around at enormous speeds.

The only person missing? Who else? I thought about what he could be doing last night as I was getting thrown around on the roller coasters. He's off on another surfing trip. I wished I was there with him. It was a nice night last night. Warm and humid, with light sprinkles. For some reason, it made me think about the last night that he and I were together on a warm evening. A few weeks back, on a really warm evening, camping out at another surf spot down south. Everyone left for a more "convenient" accommodations while he and I stayed back on our own. We were able to talk freely without having to worry about other people taking notice of our closeness. We talked about life, happiness, work, what makes us tick. I gave him emotional support for some of the personal struggles that he was going through. And this gave us another chance to nurture the friendship that was developing between us. We even watched a movie on the laptop on back of his truck that evening. We held hands while we watched a movie like little teenagers. He put his hand on my leg while I put my head on his shoulder. It felt so natural. It was a very nice, quiet evening. Romantic, honest, and true. Happy thoughts tonight as I fall asleep. I can't wait to see him again.