Christmas Surfing Fun

My love psychic advised me that with Ryan, I needed to be more reserved, not flirt with other men, and by all means, do NOT date other men because he will find out and will only push him away. I needed to be more reserved, pull away from others, talk to men but don't flirt, talk to people but not too excessively, talk to Ryan enough that he feels the bond, but not so much that it kills it. Make him feel like he is the center, but not too much, because he needs to come to me, not the other way around. Ahhhh----!! I was overwhelmed with all the information that I needed to remember the next time I saw him. I tried to make notes throughout all our sessions so that I didn't forget anything. I needed him to see me for the person that I really was, and she assured me that this would make him see me more in a positive light.

Christmas came and Keren came for a visit. We packed our boards and decided to hit our usual surf spot down south. There was a swell hitting, so it was going to be a great day! As I was pulling into the parking lot, a nice surprise waited for me. Ryan was there, standing by the car, getting ready and waiting for his friends. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks. I instantly gasped for air, my heart stopped, and my hands started to shake from nervousness. I hadn't seen him for a few weeks, and it was my chance to be next to him. I tried to remember everything that my love psychic had told me. Keren had to calm me down. I took a big breath and walked out to say hello to everyone. I stayed away from Ryan initially. I was too nervous to talk to him. I didn't want him to see me struggling for the right words to say to him. Keren went over to speak to him first. She later told me that he was gasping for air when he was talking to her. I wondered if he was feeling the same, or whether it was her imagination that he was gasping for air.

As we were heading out to the water, Ryan and I finally greeted each other. He gave me a big hug and made a joke about how I consumed massive quantities of food all the time. Food was an inside joke between us since I ate more food than he did even though he was almost a foot taller than me.

He caressed my arm whenever he got the chance like he used to as we were paddling out together. It felt so nice... I tried to remember everything that my love psychic had told me and follow her instructions. Be nice, but not too nice, be social but not too social, talk to Ryan but not too much, etc... After a day of surfing, we went for lunch. It was a small group - just 5 of us (Keren, her pseudo-boyfriend, Ryan, me, and Ryan's brother). Ryan leaned his leg up against mine like before when he felt especially affectionate with me. At the end of the day when we were packing up to leave, Ryan walked me to my car. I didn't want the day to end, so tried to keep the conversation flowing. Finally, because his brother needed to leave, he bid farewell. But before he left, he gave me a quick kiss goodbye. Even though it was just a quick one, he'd never kissed me in public before. Ever! Then as I wondered whether I would see him for New Years, he said, "I won't see you for New Years... so Happy New Year, Leelee." (Leelee was his nickname for me.)

He was coming closer to me. I could feel it. And his goodbye kiss confirmed it. I was sitting on cloud nine for the next 5 days. No one could wipe the smile off my face. Keren remarked, "Haley, you look so happy. I don't think I've ever seen you smile so much with such peace in your face before! I like it."